If you are looking at my Instagram or Facebook you could assume I am doing great! I love showing through pictures that I love the people here and I am quick to tell about the spiritual growth happening within me. However, while these things are true, there are a lot of things here that are really hard for me. Now don’t mistake this as complaining. I am so extremely grateful to be here and there is nowhere else I would want to be. I know that with these struggles come persistence and with persistence and endurance my relationship with God can only be strengthened (Romans 5:3, thanks Grandad for the reading recommendation) . But these struggles are hard for me and I don’t want to only show people the good. This experience comes with ups and downs and I am here to share it all.
This is my first time being away from my parents for this long. Which comes with the struggles that I expected, like missing them constantly. But also things unexpected like missing their problem solving skills and experience (as much as it pains me to say it). No matter how independent I was at home, being in a completely new environment with no experience, makes me really wish I had my parents to lean on and to help me fix things. This has manifested itself into many ways but let me tell you one example.
Unfortunately, there has been a lot of rain here. There was one week where it was Wednesday to Wednesday, not a day without rain. Which comes with struggles I have never dealt with before. You see, I live in a tent and to sum up my experience of tent living during a week of rain, I will show you 3 quotes from my journal.
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“It has been raining for days and my backpack and tent is growing mold, mold of all colors, white, green, brown, blue, and black! Wow what a rainbow of mold I am living in”
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“I have mold on the bottom of my toothbrush but I am still using it because I would rather have mold on my teeth than plaque”
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“After saying goodbye to one of my best friends here who decided to leave the race, I went to my tent in the rain to get different shoes. Squatting just outside my tent reaching in for shoes, I noticed that rain was collecting on top of my tent. So I went to get rid of it when half of it spilled on me. So I started crying. Then as I was crying I fell from squatting to my knees and in the process one of my poles collapsed and the rest of the water collecting drained into my body. So I stood up and balled.”
Since then I have been able to get a new toothbrush and clean the water out of my tent, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is really hard to live outside. Especially when my parents aren’t here to tell me how to get mold out of my backpack or to tell me how to set up my tent the right way so no water collects.
But with the struggles, I am already noticing myself being persistent and growing. When I don’t have my parents to lean on emotionally or physically, I am forced to lean on the Lord, myself and the people around me. For example, last night I killed a spider with my finger and didn’t have to ask someone else to come get it. And on a deeper note, I am learning to lean in to the Lord for joy. Like, on day 5 of rain I was so overwhelmed with joy that I was almost brought to tears because I was so happy that my tent wasn’t flooded. Or when the sun finally did come I’d never been more happy to go wash my clothes in a dirty bucket. I am learning that despite having earthly struggles, I can go to worship the Lord because every good thing is from Him and there are an endless amount of things I can praise Him for.
Joyous stories coming soon!
-Mackenzie
Love hearing your voice in stories!!! Hope the coming days are more sunshine (literally!!) than rain! ??????love you MK!!
Those hearts came out as question marks!!! Arg! Heart heart heart!!!
Love this. Hopefully you’ll get some sun soon!
You are wise beyond your years, Mackenzie!! Thank you for sharing your heart, the struggles and celebrations! The sun will shine soon! 🙂 I love you so much and giggled at some of the things you said in your post and I’m glad you have a new toothbrush!!
I love that Grandad recommended Romans 5:3-5!! I like how this version from the Message puts it:
Romans 5:3-5 There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!
I love you so much, sweet Kenz!!!!!
Hi, Kenz! It’s SO wonderful to hear from you! Your vivid descriptions of what you are experiencing cause me to cry too, yet I smile through the tears knowing that you will survive this and share an incredible story of perseverance and courage with your followers. For the record, neither Granddad nor I appreciate spiders; you are a brave woman! We love you and admire your tenacity and ultimately your love for Christ. YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Thank you for the descriptive update on soggy, soon to be sunny, Georgia, USA.
Love, Grammy & Granddad McC
This is so encouraging to read although sad to hear about your struggles but proud of you for staying true to who you are and for where God has put you thank you for the inspiration you have set before many! Continuing to pray for you continuing to pray that your work will show others to Christ. Your hard work dedication will not go unnoticed.
YES! THE REALNESS! proud of you for sticking through all the mold and rain !
Reading this makes me want to reach thru the phone and hug you!! So proud of your strength. I will continue to hold you in my prayers
I’m so very proud of you!!! For taking the challenge to step in faith to what God was calling you to do. For keeping a positive attitude and outlook in the face of struggles. For being vulnerable and showing that it’s not easy and all sunshine and rainbows. For persevering and enduring. For finding joy in the little things. I love you very much and I continue to pray for you but always knowing in my heart that God will take care you. Love Dad
You got this! That ‘mold’ rainbow was a little sign from God. Praying for strength and whole lot of sunshine to come your way. ??
Oh Mackenzie, you have a beautiful gift of writing & sharing your thoughts! As I was reading, I could picture the mold & your tent sagging with the weight of the rain! You are becoming more creative, innovative & trusting each day! Please know you are in my thoughts & prayers always! Sending you lots of positive vibes for finding the sunshine even on the dreary days! Love & hugs, Grammy Penny
Sweet Kenz, I am again so inspired by you and so proud of you! I am praying daily for you, and it is amazing how God gives us joy beyond understanding!!
Love you!
You are a strong person and will amaze yourself on this journey.
You got this!!! Listen to Sunshine and I AM Yours by Needtobreathe…hang in there!
Oh sweet Mackenzie, I love you so much and want to cry with you and laugh with you. I am so very proud of you and your tenacious spirit. You are destined for great things through your sweet spirit and your love of God.
YOU are the sunshine, MacKenzie!! Praying for brighter days ahead!
I am hearing about so much Christian growth in you already. Your struggles are bringing you closer to Christ. We experience such a softness in our lives that many times we ask God for selfish simple prayers. Your experiences will draw you closer in so many ways. I continue to pray for you. God bless.
Love you friend! No one else I’d rather grow and figure out this new life with, even if it means crying a lot
Oh sweet Kenz! Love your honesty in sharing the struggles you are facing. You are amazing and I continue to pray for you and your wonderful parents! Love you!
Enjoyed reading about what life is like for you on this journey. I keep you in my prayers. Your blog made me feel like I was right there with you as you described it which is good writing.
Good to hear from you! Your rainbow reminded me of the carton of sour cream I discovered this morning hiding in the back of my fridge. Who knew, right? Wow! You are really being tested but know that we’re all praying for you. Hang in there Mackenzie. Miss seeing that beautiful smile at church but I know you’re helping others by bestowing it on them??
Kenz, your honesty written so beautifully here in this blog has brought two verses to mind. 1Corinthians 10:13 is often mis-spoken, but read in its entirety tells us that, “No trial has confronted you except what a person can stand. God is faithful, and he will not allow you to be tried beyond your strength. BUT TOGETHER WITH THE TRIAL HE WILL ALSO PROVIDE A WAY OUT AND THE STRENGTH TO BEAR IT.”
Secondly, your mold situation reminds me of Isaiah 61:3 where Isaiah speaks of beauty from ashes. I believe you will find the beauty from the mold. In the verse, “ashes remind us that trials produce humility, and sacrifices can bring about renewal”, (from Christianity.com). I believe your ashes are the mold. You, my dear Mackenzie, will be renewed! What a blessing! Thank you for speaking from your heart and letting us in on your ongoing sacrifice for the glory of God! Your family is so proud of you and is praying without ceasing on your behalf. We love you!
wow Mackenzie! I am so blessed to have you and your faith for inspiration! way to go!!!! God love you Mackenzie! keep those blog reports coming for you are impacting all of us following you in so many ways you can’t even know!!!!
Love – Julie
Hey Ms. Girl, so sorry I am a little late to your post. Just wanted to say how much I love you and how strong you are. Going from a world full of accommodating features to a world where nothing seems to go right is a difficult switch. As you know, everything happens for a purpose, and you wouldn’t be dealt these cards if you weren’t strong enough to play them. I admire the trust you have in your own faith, the hardships will soon be funny stories that I can’t wait to hear all about. So freakin blessed to call you my best friend. I love you! (Love ya, see ya, bye!!!)
Mackenzie,
Wow! You are having a lot of life lessons. Proud of you for hanging in there. Reality is that many people live in similar circumstances all the time and would be so grateful for some rain and for a tent. Perspective is significant. Really loving people requires something of you. However, there is no better, more joyful life than being willing to lay down some good things you have to support and encourage others to look to Jesus for there hope. You are an extraordinary person with a beautiful, loving heart. God has brought you here with purpose and will equip you in every way. Praying that you will find joy as you recognize ways God is working in the lives of people around you. Love hearing your story.
This is one of my favorite verses. Phillipians 4:13 I can do all this through Christ who strengthens me.
He is faithful. Praying. Cindy Breon